I cannot begin to count on both hands how many times people, including strangers, have said to us, "Oh, you make pretty good money doing foster care, right?"
To answer this question, let me offer a few reasons why we foster for the money:
1. We enjoy walking from 12-5am with a newborn going through meth withdrawal. Who needs sleep? Especially when you have 3 other kids to care for. The best is the seizure-like shakes he has that you can do nothing for.
2. Trying to, as gently as possibly, tell 2 sisters why their brother had to be removed from our home after only 2 days...and they didn't get to tell him good-bye. Apparently, stabbing your grandmother with a pair of scissors is a deal-breaker if there are other kids in the home.
3. I enjoy working my comedy routine on a 4, 5 and 6 year old while delousing them. Having to shave the boy's head bald because the infestation is so severe. While trying to comfort him during this process, I tell him that baseball season is coming up and that players get their heads shaved for the season...all the while hoping my bio son and hubby will be on board with shaving their heads so this little guy doesn't feel singled out.
4. Date nights: who needs them? We happily left the movie theater to return home and save our sitter and other kids from the 6 year old who had been screaming, punching, yelling and head-banging for the past hour. We then divide and conquer: 1 parent to deal with the 6 year old, the other to deal with our 4 other kids who are scared and crying from experiencing this behavior so completely foreign to them.
5. Trying to explain to our bio kids why they would get spanked for the above mentioned behavior, yet our foster kids will not only NOT get spanked, they will not be grounded or receive any form of punishment. In the foster kiddos minds, spankings = abuse. Time-outs = withholding of affection. Groundings = neglect, wondering if we will return in the next few days to feed them or not. Granted, none of their perceptions are accurate, but in their minds, perception is reality.
6. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting for parents to show for visits. Waiting for therapy appointments. Waiting for paperwork to go through. Waiting for people to do what is best for these kids. The list goes on and on.
7. Continuing education/training. Yes, I am in full support of continuing to receive additional training. Everyday we encounter situations totally foreign to us. But the best part is getting people to stay with your kids; not just your bio kids, but your foster kids as well; for 3-4 hours, while dealing with kids who are experiencing some traumatic issues. The even better part is shelling out $75 a night for the sitter. Can you say "date night"?
While it may sound like I'm complaining, I'm not. I'm simply providing a few reasons why it is completely INSANE for people to suggest we foster for the supplement...because that 's exactly what it is: a supplement. It nowhere near covers the cost of bringing extra kiddos into our home.
Let me suggest to you, as kindly as possible, that the majority of foster parents are not in it for the money. Granted, there are a few horrible people who abuse the system and the children. However, I can say that of all the foster parents we know, money was never a factor in their decision to provide care. In fact, financial compensation was never even discussed in our training, we found out what we received when the first check arrived. It's a non-issue. We are here to help and love these kids. To share Jesus and His love with them. We know that since He called us to do this, He will provide...and He always has.
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